Ephesians 5:22-33
22Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.23For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
25Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,26that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,27so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.a28In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.29For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,30because we are members of his body.31“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”32This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.33However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Ok I get it. We want everyone to have happy Biblical marriages and we want the world to be scriptural. Well that ship sailed long ago. I believe we have spent so much time trying to make the world a hospitable place for relational bliss and from the scriptural passage above, the world was never the place for it. This blessing is reserved for Christians. I will say I don’t think marriage has ever been more difficult for people to wrap their minds around than in today’s world. Marriage in the modern world has come to mean anything but the original definition — One man, one woman for life is the standard. God is gracious so even those who don’t get it right can try again if there is repentance.
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According to the original design, still in effect, the man is the head of the union and as such the scriptures above spend the majority of the time speaking to the man and his responsibility. These scriptures are for Christians. We have spent a great deal of time trying to convince unbelievers what types of marriages they should have, but God’s original focus was always on what kind of marriage we should have. Our example is a ministry to them.
My wife and I recently celebrated 10 years together in the Bahamas. This was my first marriage and her second one. In the early days we dated and it was a distance relationship. We moved to the engagement stage and on our wedding day we could stand before God and man and say we had refrained from intercourse until the wedding day. And so we have been one and blessed. We are a far from a perfect couple. From time to time we have our struggles with communication, selfishness, lack of cooperation and sometimes just plain hardness of hearts, because we put the interests of work, friends, family, entertainment or leisure activities before God or each other.
In spite of this we have asked each other what is the constant seal that we both have that God continues to make evident to us an others? Well the distinctive trait we have always felt is one of peace. It’s a security that does not emanate from us or our actions alone. We have a rest that comes from God Himself. It has carried us when frankly our love has fallen short. I love Robin, my wife. Would it surprise you if I said she is not always submissive? Well the truth is, I’m not always submissive or obedient to God. I know he loves me in spite of this and I have an abiding rest. What we have is a constant in a world of instability. God’s gift to believers is a not just ordinary marriage. It’s a Christian marriage, a covenant that must be adhered to and treated with care. Love covers a multitude of sins. I must remember this as I continue to lead my wife. She must remember as she follows. Together we look forward to what God has in store.