“Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.” Matthew 6:12 (ESV) Biblos.com 

Trauma and suffering are a part of life. Expecting to avoid them is foolish. The greatest gift God has offered to mankind is forgiveness. Without it, there is no reaching us. 

To live life fully you must jump into unknown waters and develop new relationships. Anyone who expects to have full, meaningful relationships without receiving wounds in the process is like a person who jumps into the water and then complains about being wet. I have found that high quality people have numerous meaningful relationships that thrive because of one central trait; they are trustworthy with many things. You can trust them to remain confidential, to endure, to put others before themselves and ultimately you can entrust them with the deep things of your heart. Because of this trait people want to be around them. They also are trustworthy with the commands of God and because of this, they forgive.
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In contrast, many take an opposite approach to the injuries betrayal and human weakness have caused them. Bitterness becomes a dominant personality trait. People whisper, “don’t bring that up around them.” They seek to insulate their lives from any future wounds by nursing the memories and pain from the past. They choose to feed it and indulge it. The truth is this; pain can be transformative, if we want it to work for us. I think of people who have had horrific things happen to them and they chose to confront the injury and the causes. They did not retreat from the world; they challenged it and in the process made it a better place. The trait of forgiveness should be one of the most recognizable fruits a Christian has.

Pain and the bitterness that follows can develop into a fortress mentality in which we seek to insulate ourselves from relationships and the many experiences we can have in life. This mindset, breeds paranoia and insecurity, not to mention a hard heart. Some of the most unpleasant people to be around are bitter folks who can recount the names and events of everyone who has ever wronged them. Have you swallowed a bitter pill recently? Ask a trusted friend or family member to assess you, and then receive what they say without being defensive. Put the bitter pill away, Your better than that. In the words of the rapper Ice Cube, you may want to “Check yourself, before you wreck yourself.”